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some crackers

 
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stockcar



Joined: 07 Apr 2011
Posts: 728
Location: in the shadow of the "angel"

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:01 pm    Post subject: some crackers Reply with quote

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished
to see the bed
was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,
'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and, with
trembling hands, read the letter...

"Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sor...row that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid scene
with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she
is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all
her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she
is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy
said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream
of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't
really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it
with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for
AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!



Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.



Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.



Love, your son, Joshua

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
school report that's on the kitchen table.
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stockcar



Joined: 07 Apr 2011
Posts: 728
Location: in the shadow of the "angel"

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shamelessly stolen

After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory.

Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there.

Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.

W...ho
are these from ?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them."

"Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks."

"Ahhh, thats really nice" said Lucy.

"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited!"

"Brilliant!" said Lucy. "And the third?"

"Thats from Eric in the burns unit" said the nurse.
"He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears!"
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