Bimota Forum

[Corona]

What's good on apple pie and cherry pie, but not on hair pie?


The crust.

In light of the recent separation from Jordan, Peter Andre has applied for a job as a coal miner......

.....he reckons he's perfectly qualified as he's been humping slag and carrying a heavy spade for years.

AIRLINES ........

A man is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. A
beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty
flight attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by
identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto:
"We love to fly and it shows".

The woman looks at him blankly.

He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto:
"Winning the hearts of the world".

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tries again, this time with the Malaysian Airlines
motto:
"Going beyond expectations".

The woman looks at him sternly and says:
"What the f*** do you want ?"

"Ah!" he says, sitting back with a smile on his face, "Ryanair".


What's the difference between the Icelandic volcano and Cheryl Cole ?




The volcano is still blowing Ash




What do you get when you mix PMS with GPS? A crazy woman who will find you!

They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right.

After 8 pints I talk shite and I can't drive!

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Whats the difference between Basil Brush and a Terrorist with a rucksack?

The Terrorist with a rucksack only goes "Boom" once.

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Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?"

"No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."

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A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.

I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"

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A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.

"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.

"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair.

[deebee4]

Do you know, that 95 % of all ever sold Harleys are still on the road?


The other 5 % managed to get it home…….!

...................................

A tough looking group of bikers were riding, when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he didn't want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity too so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering French kiss.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had. That's a real talent you're wasting. You could be famous, why are you committing suicide?"


"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
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Track riding on a Bimota: FUN!

[Evilchicken0]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree.

Because it was dead.
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Don't read everything you believe

[deebee4]

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side.... You know what?"

"What dear?" she asked gently.

"I think you're bad luck. Get the fuck away from me."
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Track riding on a Bimota: FUN!